You Will Always Have My Forgiveness
by LoveforLifeandHope
Summary: Is forgiveness ever easy.What happens when someone from the NCIS team betrays everyones trust. Will that person be forgiven even though the things in their past could ruin the lives of the people they care most about?Will their own life be in danger?Tiva!
1. Chapter 1

**How is everyone on this fine day? Happy late Halloween! Okay so lets start off with this, I am nervous about posting this story, alot of time and effort has gone into it. So as I say that here is a few things to remember before you start.**

**~The words in italics are things that happened in the past. THe opening part of tis story is in italics because it is someone remembering someting that happened in their past. For the next few chapters the opening parts will be in italics just to warn everyone. Next, this chapter is going to leave alot of things unsaid so before we go into the story here is a small recap.**

**RECAP: About four years ago Ziva left with out a trace. Leaving the team with many questions. In this chapter she is back in Washington after going to college and none of her co-workers know about it yet. The friend she is with, Kristen, her and Kristen are going to open a book store. Now Tony left two years after Ziva did, again you will find out exactly why later, but for now just know he left NCIS. I think that is all for now. I will do a recap for all chapters so if there is something you do not understand in one chapter then either message me or write the review and I will add it in the recap for next chapter. Hopefully all this makes sense. And some chapter will either have more with Ziva in it or more with Tony in it, this chapter has more of Ziva and I am almost possitive the next chapter has more Ziva in it too. There are alot of plot twist, some you will be like, Oh I saw that coming and others will leave you saying OMG! So jst a hint make sure you pay attention to things in this chapter, because they will be brought up I have been acused of being self absorbed but I think you have delt with enough of my rambling!**

**In this chapter you will meet Kristen, you find out where Tony went, you will found out some things about someone(and im not going to say who) past. So I hope you enjoy this story! Please give me your feed back. **

**This story wuld not have began with out my great beta Surferdude8225! Thank you for giving your feedback and helping with all the questions I had!**

**Disclaimer:I own Kristen and that is it!**

* * *

Mistakes are part of life, everyone makes them, and everyone regrets them. But, some learn from them and some end up making them again. It's up to you to decide if you'll use your mistakes to your advantage.

_**- Meredith Sapp**_

* * *

_Three years, forty five days, and three minutes ago…_

_It was a sad sound; the air was filled with gunshots and cries. These sounds almost created perfect melody together. It sent chills down his spine as he watched the now-orphaned girl morn over her loss. He watched a she clutched her father's flag, the only thing she now had left of him. He did all he could to prevent this; his partner had tried to convince him. But no matter how many times she was to tell him, he knew the truth. He might not have been the one to pull the trigger, but he was the one who got them killed. _

_Now, their sixteen year old would grow up without a father to walk her down the aisle, and the one year old would grow up without a mom to teach her how to bake and do all the girl stuff. _

_By now the sky grew cloudy, as if darkness was taking over, and thunder cracked in the background like an angry forest fire. He shut his eyes tightly blinking away the memories…_

* * *

Tony stood on the balcony of his hotel room as he looked at the scenery. The sun was just rising in the distance and Tony, again, went without sleep. That was how it had been for two years now. He was lucky when he got one hour asleep. He stifled a yawn as he pulled a necklace out of his pocket. He held it up and smiled at the way the light shone off it.

He held it up to his eyes and remembered a time when they stood on the streets of Paris. He stayed like that for a few minutes longer before he deciding to go back inside.

He slipped the necklace back in his pocket before he turned his back on the beautiful scenery containing the Eifel Tower.

* * *

She lay in her bed; her back was against the wall. Memories weren't her friend, they haunted her, even tormented her. She could not get the looks of all the people she cared about out of her mind.

She let out a loud sigh and rolled out of bed. She crossed her small bedroom in a matter of seconds before she was out of the door and standing in the kitchen. Ziva smiled as Kristen, her roommate, came walking in the door. She had long red hair and bright green eyes. And she was wearing a pair of capri jeans with a white tee shirt.

"Good morning, Ziva, how've you been?" In the past four years, Kristen had been Ziva's best friend. She was also the only one who knew about her past with Mossad and NCIS. Thinking the name brought back memories she had been trying to abide.

"_It was not your fault!" she exclaimed to the man._

"_How can you say that, Ziva? They would be alive if it wasn't for the choice I made!" Tony exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air._

_Ziva looked at him, giving him a sweet smile. "You followed your gut, which is what Gibbs always said to do. How can you blame yourself?"_

"_I murdered someone, Ziva, I'm a monster!" _

_Ziva looked at him; he was the only person she ever trusted with her feeling, and yet he always found a way to ruin everything._

_Tony looked at her, realization flashing over his face, "I didn't mean it that way."_

_Ziva shook her head and averted her eyes from his. "No, I knew how you meant it. I must go; it will be an early morning tomorrow," she told him, looking into his eyes. If she only knew that was the last time she would see him, then maybe things would have gone differently._

Ziva pursed her lips, considering her answer carefully. "I have been doing better."

Kristen looked at Ziva; she was concerned for her friend. "Have you thought of calling any of your old co-workers?"

Ziva shook her head. "No, we always have this talk, I cannot do that-"

She was cut off by Kristen, rolling her eyes and making a comment. "How many times are you going to say that crap, Ziva? In case you don't remember, I majored in psychology; I know you haven't been sleeping. I even know where you keep your secret stash of letters," when Kristen saw the angered expression on her friend, she quickly added to her last statement. "I'm not _that_ nosey, I haven't read them. Have you been writing them since you left? Because, if so, then you have exactly one thousand and two letters. Wow, that's a lot," she said, doing the math in her head.

Ziva's expression changed as she answered, going from angry to slightly aggravated. "No, actually there are about one thousand, two hundred, and twelve. It has been three years, forty two days, and three minutes since I left my life behind," she said longingly.

"And you always said you were not counting, but who is this Anthony DiNozzo?" Kristen thought she was on a roll now. Even though, in the past three years of their friendship, whenever Kristen tried to ask about Tony, Ziva would avoid the conversation.

Ziva just gave a slight smile and turned her back, heading back to her door. "You will one day have to tell me what happened! Just like you will one day have to call and talk to someone!" Kristen yelled to her from the kitchen.

But she had a point; Ziva couldn't avoid them forever. Maybe when she was in college she could. But she returned to Washington D.C and Kristen decided to open a book store, well, nobody knew what would happen then.

Ziva figured it would keep her mind of things for a little while, she found herself doing things in order to keep her mind away from any thoughts of her former life. She sat down at her desk and pulled out a piece of paper.

_Dear Tony,_

_Today my friend asked me about you. I found myself unable to answer; I do not see why it is so complicated to speak of you. You were my best friend, even though I will never get a chance to tell you, I always wish I had._

_We are opening a book store today. I am excited, I guess that is the word you could use to describe the way I feel. I am sorry I never got a chance to say good bye. I know the things I said to you...on the night I…um…left were harsh. But I would like to believe if we ever get a chance to see each other again, then you would forgive me. But I know if I find myself thinking I will see you, then I will be let down yet again._

_Goodbye for now…_

_Ziva_

* * *

**So that would be the end of chapter 1, hope you enjoyed! I am sorry but I have to ask, wwhat are your guesses on whose necklace Tony had at the beginning on this chapter, I will give you a hint, it might not be what you think. There is going to be alot of twist and turns in this story so be ready! There will be some, but not many questions answered in the next chapter, so hope you come back to read it. Here is one thing that you can look for in the next chapter...**

**You will find out the motives or some of the motives for why either Tony/Ziva left NCIS. And that is all I will say. You will also find out how Kristen and Ziva meet.**

**Don't forget to review :) and dont forget to leave any questions you want me to answer in next chapter recap. **

**~Ash**


	2. Call

**Hello dear readers, I must admit that I was disapointed in the response for this story. Yes, I am greatful for all the favorite story alerts and etc. But you have no idea how much your encouraging word can give me inspiration. Even if it is critizim as long as you are nice I do not care. But I would like to know what you think of my story, so please review. I have decided t only do recaps every few chapters because it takes a long time to sort through everthing that needs to be said. So here is the chapter hope you like it and to all those who DIDN'T review this time please take the time to review this chapter again it means so much!**

**This chapter is devoted to: Tiva4life and Tivalover96 also my gratitude goes out to surferdude8225! **

**Anytime there is a different language in this story I will translate it here so you will not be confused. And a small reminder the italics are either a flash back or someone saying something in their heads. Just letting everyone know! Hope you enjoy...**

**Translation:**

**Merci et bon après midi- thank you and good afternoon**

**Disclaimer:I own nothing!**

* * *

_**"One should rather die then be betrayed. there is no deceit in death. It delievers percisely what it has promised. Betrayl, though... betrayl is the willful slaughter of hope."**_

_**~Steven Deitz**_

* * *

_They stood there, staring into each other's eyes. The clock was winding down; both had no words to say, but so many things left unsaid._

"_What are you going to do?" he asked her, scared of what she might say._

_She looked at him with a longing gaze before her help up a figure and closed her eyes tight. "That is none of your concern; I will figure something out."_

"_Sorry, but last time you 'figured something out' without talking to one of us first, you ended up half way across the world. So, excuse me for asking," he said sarcastically._

"_Don't you _dare_ blame this on me!" anger grew in her eyes. "_You_ were the one that pushed me away," she jabbed her figure at him and he took another step closer to her._

"_Explain how in the hell this is my fault, you were the one who got involved with a physic person. You were the one who chose to stay, so don't you dare blame this on me," he said back, just as harshly._

_When he felt her hand slap his cheek, he instantly knew that he betrayed her trust…_

* * *

"Ziva, would you take this box up to the storage closet?" Kristen called from the small kitchen they had in the back of the book store. Kristen handed the box to Ziva before she spoke again. "I was thinking we could go to a club tonight or even a bar, maybe you could meet a guy."

Ziva rolled her eyes at her friend's strong-minded attitude; at times Kristen reminded Ziva too much of Tony. "I was thinking about staying home tonight, maybe I could read a book."

"That's pathetic, Zi!" Kristen's eyes grew wide when she realized the nick name she called her friend. Ever since the first day they met, Ziva wouldn't allow anyone to call anything except Ziva. Kristen wanted to know why, but she also knew her friend did not need to be pushed into giving any information. "Sorry, Ziva, slip of the tongue. You don't need to go out if you do not want to. It's just, the past is the past. It's been _four years._ When are you going to let go?"

Ziva smiled as she started to put the books in their right place, "No you're right, we can go out tonight, who knows maybe I will meet someone."

* * *

"Good evening, Mr. DiNozzo, how may I help you?" the concierge asked as Tony walked in the main entrance of the hotel.

"Good after noon, Mr. Dan, I'd like to check my messages," Tony gave the man a pleasant smile.

"Of course," Mr. Dan walked to the back, in a few seconds he emerged empty handed. "I'm sorry, sir, but you have no new messages."

Tony nodded his head. "Merci et bon après midi,." and he walked on; he pressed the button on the elevator. He stepped on the elevator and a few short seconds later his phone rang.

Tony looked at the caller I.D and smiled before he flipped it open, "Hello, I did not expect a call this soon."

The voice from the other line gave a slight chuckle before replying. "She is doing better, from what I can tell, she is safe is the most important part. Goodbye."

The line went dead and Tony let out a relieved sigh.

* * *

"Would you hurry up please?" the persistent Kristen yelled from the door and Ziva emerged in a black cocktail dress that stayed fitted to her tan skin. "Would you please remind me as to why you don't go out more often to clubs? Seriously, all the guys will be falling all over you!"

"I already told you, I like to stay inside, I am not a part cannibal!" Ziva lied casually, laughing at her friend.

Kristen, now used to Ziva messing up her idioms, laughed. "Its party animal and no, I know you well enough by now to tell when you're lying."

Even though Kristen was a couple years younger than Ziva herself, she did have a point. Next to Tony, Kristen was one of the few people who knew how to read Ziva. "I am not lying."

"Well let's go then, the night is still young!" Kristen said dismissing their conversation, knowing the battle was lost.

When Kristen and Ziva arrived at the familiar club, Tick Tock by Kesha was playing, and Ziva and Kristen made their way to a booth. Not too soon after arriving, a guy, not too bad looking, asked Kristen to dance, leaving Ziva there by herself. Soon, Ziva was bored so she made her way to the bar.

"Ziva?" she heard a voice and turned around to see who it was. She was surprised because there, behind her, stood Abby.

"Abby, what are you doing here?"She asked excitedly, but then Ziva's mind went back to all the nights the team would come to this bar after a hard case. She'd forgotten.

"What am _I_ doing here? You're the one who dropped off the face of the Earth! Do you have any idea how much _hell_ you have put us through for the past four years. Gibbs actually says thank you! This is Gibbs we're talking about. He stopped giving his famous Gibbs-slap. And McGee, ever since you and Tony left…"Abby was cut short by Ziva interrupting.

Ziva knew she had no right to ask the question, after all Abby had a point. Ziva put the people she cared about in danger and she hurt them more then she thought possible. "Where did Tony go?"

Abby looked at her with cold, hard eyes that matched her tone. "Watch out, because for a second there, it sounded like you care."

This shocked Ziva, she knew that when she left without giving anyone a reason people would be mad, but part of her always thought they would try and understand, Abby especially. "Abby, I had good reasons for leaving."

"Then why don't you share why you left? Tony felt like it was his fault; he never told us what happened just that things were said. He tried to work, but it was hard on me when you left and I didn't blame myself. But Tony had to look at your empty desk for _two years_. It finally hit him that you weren't coming back and he left. He tried to look for you at first, but then he realized that you didn't want to be found. He carried around a letter, I guessed it was from you, but he never said."

"_Hi Zi, I know I'm the last person on Earth you want to talk to, but please don't do anything stupid. I'm so sorry about the things I said. I didn't mean them, but I know how you are, you're suborned and I need to see you before you do something reckless," he took a big breathe and knocked on her front door. "Truth is, I just want to see you and apologize I don't like to fight with you. So please, open your door so we can talk." He hung up the phone and grabbed his spare key, to inpatient to wait for her to come open up. He pushed the door open and gasped in surprise._

Ziva was brought out of her thoughts when Kristen came back to the bar. "Kristen this is Abby, Abby, this is my friend, Kristen."

Kristen reached her hand out to Abby and Abby smiled and shook her hand. "We just opened a bookstore, you should come by tomorrow."

"I'll consider it," Abby said with a gentle smile before she turned to Ziva. "Remember, you owe them answers, you owe _all _of us answers." Abby infixed all and Ziva knew what she meant. "You should come by the office or, better yet, come over to my apartment tomorrow. We're having a party for McGee. And you should come. Kristen, you're welcome to come too." And, with that, Abby was gone.

Kristen turned to Ziva with a huge smile playing on her lips. "See, that wasn't so hard."

But Ziva wasn't listening, she was thinking about what Abby said. Abby was right, she owed too many people answers for her to just run away again.

Kristen had seen that look on Ziva's face many times. But this was different. Ziva's face had the expression of her being deep in thought. But it also had the same look she got when Kristen would mention Tony, one of hope and, if Ziva let her guard down, one of love. Even though Ziva would deny anything beside strict partnership between herself and this Tony DiNozzo, Kristen could see the truth, even if Ziva couldn't.

_Dear Tony,_

_I don't know why I write these things; maybe it makes me feel closer to you. But I do know one thing. Abby was right, I owe you answers. But some of those answers are just too complicated. I knew you would be the one to find my letter that night you went to my apartment. I knew you would want to look for me. _

_But today I found out you honored my wishes. I must say, I will never know how hard it was for you to walk away and not look for me. But, then again, you were my best friend so maybe you cared more then I gave you credit. The truth is, I heard your message that night. I had a chance to turn and walk off the plane and come back to you. You had no idea how much I wanted to. _

_But there was too many…obstacles, as you would say. But I must say thank you. I have let go of the hope of ever seeing you again, so I know there is no way this could end pleasant. That is why I did what I did to protect you._

_With my best wishes, _

_Ziva_

**This was letter number one thousand, two hundred, and thirteen… and yet the big hole that was in her chest was still there. No matter what she did to get rid of it.**

**Don't forget to review!:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone, thanks for your reviews I loved them. For those of you who review keep it up and for those of you who don't, no worries, just review this time please :). I would do a recap but Not a lot has happened so I feel no need. If you want a recap fpr the next chapter then just tell me. Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: Every time I write you it is like a slap in the face, because I already know I don't own NCIS so why rub it in more?**

* * *

"What ever happened in your past, you can't let go of, can't you?" Zack, the computer geek on the France team, said to Tony.

Tony looked up, he didn't notice he had been so quiet. "Shut it, you know nothing."

"I know more than you think I know. I know you have carried around that necklace for the two years you have been here. Which means the person you hurt was a female. And I have noticed you haven't looked at a woman since you got here, and I would guess you just wanted to keep us out of your personal life, but you never get personal calls, so either you are gay or you are in love with someone you can't have. So my guess is, the reason you are here is because you messed up whatever you had with the lady who owned the necklace. But the question now is if she really was mad, then why did she give you her necklace?"

Tony looked up at him and thought about all the threats Ziva use to have reserved especially for him. Just then, saving him from his thoughts and from answering Zack, Agent Natalie Johnson walked in. She was pretty, and she had blue eyes and blonde hair. But Tony never really took an interest in her; even though she had showed many times that she had an interest in him. Each time he would get closer and closer to doing something with her, but each time something pulled him back. He blamed Gibbs' rule number twelve, but he knew deep down that wasn't it. He blamed Gibbs rule twelve for a lot of things these days.

"Hello, boss," Natalie chirped.

"Hello, Nat," he used the nickname when he was aggravated. He looked at the clock; it was going to be a long day.

Around twelve, Tony decided to go out for food leaving Natalie, Zack, and Chris Stewart, another member of the team, left waiting in the office.

"Has anyone else notice the boss man has been down lately?" Zack asked, remembering their previous conversation about him.

"Yeah, I noticed this morning, he has been _really_ quiet," Natalie threw in her opinion.

"Exactly, his head isn't here. And I saw him messing with a necklace, so maybe a harsh break up is what has been wrong with him," Zack noted.

Chris had had enough by now. "It's none of our business what's been going on. He obviously doesn't want us to know." But Chris's words had no effect on Natalie or Zack.

Natalie winked and Zack and then walked over to Tony's desk, she opened the drawer. "Don't see anything!"

Zack walked over to where she stood and looked in the drawer. "I saw he had a necklace… Here it is!" he pulled out the Star of David necklace. "Look there's a picture." Zack pulled out the picture of women who was standing on the street holding what looked to be a post card, she was staring off into the distance, oblivious to the fact someone was taking a picture of her.

"Man she is hot!" Zack said admiring the picture.

"She is a Jew," Natalie spat with acid in her tone.

Chris's curiosity had gotten the best of him so he got up and looked at what his colleagues had found. "Shut up Natalie! You're just mad Tony won't sleep with you!"

"I wonder if there's anything else in here," Zack said and then pulled out a letter, it was without doubt female hand writing and the only thing that was on the front was a T. Natalie took the letter from Zack and started to open it.

* * *

"You have five minutes Ziva!" Kristen yelled from the bottom of the steps. Ziva emerged in a green sweater and black dress pants; her hair was down and curly. She took in her friend's appearance and her eye brows furrowed together in confusion.

"You are not coming?"

Kristen laughed. "No, this is something you need to do on your _own_."

Ziva gave her a smile and reached for her keys. "Fine, but you are right. I must go now; if I'm not back in a few hours, send a search party." Ziva gave her friend another smile before opening the front door and stepping out.

Ziva knocked on the door and waited anxiously for someone to open the door. Abby swung the door open and pulled Ziva into an embrace, "Ziva, Ziva, Ziva! You're here! I just couldn't believe it when I saw you! You've been gone for so long and none of us thought you were alive! And look at me now! I'm crying! I'm sorry! I told McGee and he didn't believe me at first and when I told Gibbs he didn't say too much. But he will be here soon!" Abby said and Ziva's face went pale.

"You told Gibbs?" she asked Abby.

"Well what was I suppose to do? I couldn't not tell him." Ziva didn't reply. Soon, McGee walked in and talked with Ziva. Then, Gibbs showed up; he didn't even acknowledge the fact that Ziva was there.

"So Ziva what have you been doing for the past four years?" McGee asked after a few minutes of awkward silence.

Ziva gave him a smile and swallowed the last sip of wine before answering, "I am about to start a bookstore with a friend."

"Well that's cool," McGee chirped.

"When do you plan on running away without a trace again?" Gibbs asked, his voice like ice on a cold winter night and everyone at the table held there breathe. They had rarely heard that voice, and never directed towards a friend, or someone who used to be one. That voice was reserved for interrogation.

"I am not going to leave again," Ziva said, her voice was quiet and small.

"Are you sure? Because I'm sure you were thinking you weren't going to leave back then."

"Um, McGee, I think it's time we went in the other room and checked the…books," Abby said frantically. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to be privy to.

Ziva and Gibbs stared at each other for what seemed like eternity before Ziva talked again. "I'm not leaving!"

"No, I don't believe you. Were you even _thinking_ about what you were doing when you left? Did you think what your disappearance would do to Abby, or McGee, or even Tony? He left, if you didn't hear. He didn't want us to know, but he took a position with his own team in France, Paris I think."

"_This is not good," Tony said as he opened the door to their room to reveal one king size bed._

_Ziva rolled her eyes at him. "We have slept in the same bed before, and do not be such a cry baby."_

"_I am not, and, hey, you got that one right," Tony cheered. The rest of the night went on, finally when the two went back to their room and retired to bed. After two hours of tossing and turning, she went into the small living area and turned on the TV. A few minutes later, she heard someone come behind her._

"_Sorry if I woke you," Ziva mumbled and Tony took a seat on the couch next to her._

"_Nah, no problem. I love watching Tom and Jerry at two in the morning," he said in a somewhat sarcastic tone. "Can't sleep?"_

_Ziva just smiled. "What makes you say that?"_

"_I can tell. My guess is the nightmares never went away," Tony said, dancing lightly on the line he was soon going to cross._

"_What nightmares?" she tried to shake it off. _

_Tony looked at her and whispered, "You can trust me." _

_Thant was how their memories of Paris would always be. They would remember it as the time their trust in each other was restored. _

"It is not my fault! He left because it was _his_ choice!" Ziva yelled at Gibbs as she stood.

Gibbs shook his head. "You might be able to fool McGee and Abby, but you can't fool me. You left for your own selfish reasons."

Ziva's eyes welled up with tears and that was when Gibbs realized something was different with the former agent. She'd never acted like that before. The old Ziva probably would have drawn her gun. "Please, Gibbs, you have no idea why I did the way I did."

"No, I don't because you never bothered to tell anyone. You could have called," Gibbs yelled.

"No, I couldn't! There are things you won't ever understand!" she yelled back.

He took another step closer so he was face to face with her. "Then makes me understand," he said in a lower, growling voice.

Ziva shook her head and averted her eyes from his, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"If you can't tell me then leave, I'm not going to let you back into everyone's lives," he said.

She looked at him as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Please, Gibbs, why does it have to be so hard to forgive me? I left to protect you and Abby and McGee and Tony. Is asking for your forgiveness too much? You are my father, Gibbs. Or at least, in my eyes you are. You traveled around the world to rescue me. Is asking you to forgive me for what I have done too much?" Her eyes were pleading with him. He reached out and pulled her into his arms.

"You have no clue what it's been like for the past four years. We were worried," he said as he kissed her temple.

Ziva smiled though her tears. "I know, I am so sorry. I should not have just left without a trace, but please believe me when I say I did it to keep everyone safe. That is all I can tell you."

Gibbs nodded. "You will have to tell me more, but not now."

"Well I think I better get going," Ziva said and headed for the door.

"Ziva, it wasn't me who traveled around the world for you, it was Tony. I have his contact number, you should call him," Gibbs said with a smile and handed the number to her.

* * *

Ziva lay on the bed with Tony's number and a piece of paper. She was lucky she didn't have to deal with all the questions Kristen would be asking. Her roommate wasn't home and Ziva was holed up in her room.

She looked at the phone number before she started writing.

_Dear Tony,_

_I saw Abby and McGee today, I also saw Gibbs. You have no idea how much I wished you were there. Gibbs made me think about something, he also gave me your number. I wish you were here. You made things easier. It used to never be an option as to if I could have contact with you, but now I have a choice. I'm not sure what I should do. _

_I will always miss you. All my love,_

_~Z_

* * *

**Did Tony's team open the letter? What did the letter say? Will Ziva make contact with Tony? Stay tuned to find out!**

**Hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review please :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you So much for all your reviews. They made me smile :)! Well this might be the last chapter for a while only because I will be gone over the weekend and school is really bad right now. So I will try and have atleast one more chapter up. Hopefully this chapter will answer some of your questions. But remember The story would be over if I answered ALL of your questions. I will add this ever chapter but if anyone needs me to do a recap I will try. Well here is the chapter. Again thanks to all you who reviewed and as much as I like to get author alerts and story alerts and others, please review it makes my day!:)**

**Disclaimer:No, I don't own NCIS and never will.**

**PS:Remember things from this chapter. They might come in the story later ;)**

* * *

Tony walked in the bar and sat next to Chris. "You might want to lock your drawer next time," Chris said as he handed the note, picture, and necklace to Tony.

"How…when…" Tony said frantically.

Chris rolled his eyes and answered his boss' unspoken question, "No, they didn't open it. I pulled it out of their hands before they could read it."

"Well, I guess you saved my butt!" Tony slipped the necklace and letter in his pocket and admired the picture of Ziva for a second longer, which got Chris' attention.

"I don't even know her name," he said as he took another sip of his beer.

"Who?" Tony asked as he too took a sip of his beer.

"Come on, the hot Israeli chick in the photo. The one who captured your heart. The one who taught Anthony DiNozzo to love, stop playing dumb, man."

"Oh that person," Tony said, deliberately not looking at Chris.

"Yeah, her. See, I can't even say her name because I don't know it."

Tony rolled his eyes and pursed his lips in thought, "Her name is Ziva, and she was my partner at NCIS in DC."

"Give me some of the other juicy details," Chris said.

"That's it; nothing happened between us, we were just friends."

Chris shook his head and smirked. "So that's why every spare moment you have, you spend rereading the letter or fidgeting with Ziva's necklace. Harsh break up? Oh wait, you were never together. So what was it that made you so mad at her? Or was it something _you_ did that made her mad at you?"

Tony looked at Chris before answering, "She did none of those things."

"Well then, what is it? Because she's _very_ attractive if you don't mind me saying."

"Yeah, she is very pretty." Tony admired the picture again. "Honestly, I have no idea what happened. I woke up one morning to find her gone. She just dropped off the face of the earth. I have my theories as to why she left, but it's been four years. If she wanted to speak with me, then she would have found a way. She always found a way."

"You don't know that, maybe she had a reason," Chris offered.

Tony nodded and laid his share of money on the bar before he stood and looked at Chris. "You didn't know her like I did," he said before he walked out of the door and into the slightly cold air.

* * *

"So how did you're dinner go?" Kristen asked as she unlocked the door to the bookstore and stepped in.

Ziva smiled and set down her bag. "It was good."

There was something her eyes that made Kristen see she was not telling the whole story. "Nope, spill. What happened?"

"Nothing really; I talked to my old boss, Gibbs, and things went downhill from there." Ziva shrugged and set down a box.

Kristen looked concerned. "Did you tell them?" When Ziva shook her head no, Kristen started, "Why not? I'll have your back, you know that. But I can't protect you from your demons, and your friends can. These problems aren't going to go away without someone's help, and I'm afraid I can't give you that help. I have kept your secret for far too long."

Just then, there was a ding at the door and Gibbs came walking around the corner into the store.

Ziva looked at Gibbs before she saw the look in his eyes, she turned to Kristen. "What did you do?" she hissed.

Kristen held her hands up. "I didn't do anything, but it's time you start to explain what has been going on. You're like my sister and I don't want anything happening to you." Kristen gave Ziva a smile and then nodded at Gibbs before she turned and walked out the door.

There were a few minutes of silence before Ziva spoke, "I cannot explain everything."

Gibbs shook his head. "I'm not asking for you to tell me everything, but the other night you stood in front of me and told me I was the closest thing to a father you had. I already lost a child once, I'm not going to lose _you_, not again. So start at the beginning, skip whatever I can't know, and we'll go from there."

Ziva held back tears as she spoke, "But what you do not understand is that this is bigger than me or my father or Mossad. I cannot tell you!" she said frantically.

"Well that's not good enough, because you have a whole family out there," he pointed out the door, "who need to know you aren't going to run off."

Ziva nodded in agreement before protesting, "But my past is not something most people approve of."

"I'm not most people," Gibbs gave her a smile and gently squeezed her shoulder.

Ziva smiled and started, "The case we had, it involved the two officers, the ones that died," Ziva said and Gibbs could see she had to force herself to say the words. "It was my fault, I made the call. I knew better than to say to walk in there and Tony told me not too, but I also knew their time was limited. Tony just wanted to help those people, he told me to wait for a minute. That one minute turned into five, and then the whole building was in flames. I knew what was going to happen, I should have stopped or done something."

"Tony always blamed himself for that, he never said why. Ziver, it's not your fault either."

Ziva just shook her head, she mentally skipped over all the parts that were not essential. "I left and that are that," she finished.

Gibbs let out a slight chuckled. "No, why did you leave?"

"Because I messed up," Ziva lied.

Gibbs looked down. "Before DiNozzo left, he blamed himself for your leaving, and I never asked why. I figured he had a good reason, but I knew you would never leave without telling any of us good bye."

"I did it once," Ziva mumbled, referring to the time she stayed in Israel.

"But my point is, I did my searching. You were completely off the grid the first year you were gone, your passport was tagged when you left New York for Russia. I found that odd, so I did a little more research and found that you first made contact with Kristen two years ago. You lied, Ziva, I don't know why, but you betrayed my trust in you."

Ziva's eyes snapped up at the tone of his voice. "You don't understand your _life_ was being threatened. As were Abby's and McGee's and even Tony's. I had to leave!"

Gibbs nodded and then added, "I wasn't finished. When you joined NCIS, I had my research done, and your mom was Russian."

Ziva nodded, "It is too dangerous in Mossad; I was not allowed to share information. This is the same thing."

Gibbs nodded and then took a step closer to her. "I will need to know the truth so I can protect you. Have you called him?" Gibbs changed the topic.

Ziva shook her head. "No, I have not had the time."

"Haven't had the time? Hm…" he said as he turned to the door. "I understand why you keep things from us, but if you're right, and this is bigger than Mossad or your father, then we need to know. Oh, and you need to call him."

Ziva smiled. "You keep on saying that."

"Well, you weren't here to see him break down; he blamed himself," Gibbs said and, before he gave her a chance to respond, he walked out the door, leaving her to her thoughts.

She turned to look at the door before she turned and got her phone out of her bag and dialed the number. Voicemail came on and Ziva thought about what to say. She didn't feel right leaving a message on his work phone but she had little other choice. Then Gibbs' words came back to her,_ You didn't see him break down. He blamed himself._

"Tony, it is not your fault. I told you that before, and you never believed me. But…I do not know what to say. Four years is a long time. If you do not want to speak to me, then I understand. It would be nice to hear your voice…" before she said anything else, she hung up the phone and went back to filing books.

* * *

Natalie sat in the office; everything was quiet until Tony's phone started to ring. She thought about answering it, but then the answering machine picked it up.

A female's voice came on. Natalie fell a jolt of jealousy go through her at the last line the foreign girl said. It had to be the girl from the picture. _The Jew._

Natalie walked over to the answering machine and looked around before pressing the button. The voice from the messaging machine came on.

_Message erased…_

* * *

**How many people dislike Natalie now? Well there you got some of your answers. But I will say this, The reason why Ziva left is bigger then what she told Gibbs. If you paid a little attention to what has been going on in the past chapters then you might get it. So lets go over what hasn't been answered. What does the letter say? Why did Ziva really leave? Why did Ziva and Kristen lie about when they met? and a new one, what will happen when/if Tony finds out NAtalie erased a message? As you can tell we are getting closer to when Tony and Ziva might speak. But I dont know...**

**Don't forget to review:)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, I am sorry it has been a while but I've been busy. I am also sorry for this chapter being short. I am sick so I couldn't exactly concentrated and long story short the chapter is short because I was sick. Well hope you loike this chapter. Thanks to all of you who reviewed and to those who have me under favorite author favorite story and story alerts. But to those of you who didn't review please review this chapter, maybe it will make me feel better. **

**Disclaimer: I own no characters except Natalie, Zack, Chris, and Kristen**

* * *

"What's been bugging you?" Kristen asked as she leaned up against the counter, looking at Ziva.

Ziva looked at her and Kristen could see her anger. "Do you know how much trouble we both could be in? I had to tell Gibbs! They could kill him!"

"No, you didn't tell him enough, if you had, then maybe they would kill him. I still don't even know all the details," Kristen tried to reassure Ziva.

"I know," Ziva mumbled and doodled on a piece of paper.

"What is that?" Kristen asked.

Ziva quickly looked up at her. "Nothing."

"No, come on! What are you hiding?"

"It's just a phone number of an old friend," Ziva said and it was the truth, Kristen didn't ask _who_.

Kristen raised her eye brows and smirked. "And what's the name of this 'old friend'."

Ziva shook her head. "I gave you all the information I possibly could."

"Fine," Kristen said and then took the number away from Ziva. "Your Mossad skills are failing you!" she picked up the phone and started to dial.

* * *

"What did you just do?" Zach asked, walking in on Natalie standing by Tony's desk.

Natalie shook her head. "I didn't do anything," she smiled sweetly and walked towards her desk bumping into Tony. "Hello, Boss."

Tony rolled his eyes at his co-workers. "What were you two fussing over now!" Tony asked as Natalie looked at Zach, her eyes daring him to tell.

"Natalie was at your desk messing with your phone!" Zach snitched.

Tony looked at Natalie with anger. "Explain what you were doing, NOW!" he said in a voice he usually reserved for interrogation.

"I…um…well someone called and…" she mumbled.

Tony pointed up the steps to where the director's office was. "You go to him now and tell him what you did! He will make the choice weather to fire you." Just then the phone rang and Tony leaned down and picked it up.

"This is Agent Dinozzo," he said and he could hear muffled voices.

"Shalom," the voice that he had longed to hear for four years spoke.

"Zi…Ziva?" he mumbled, turning away from Zack as if that could stop him from hearing his half of the conversation.

"I am sorry," she sounded broken and Tony wished he could be there for her, and then he remembered what she did.

"It's too late for sorry," he hung up the phone before she could respond. Tony stood with the phone in his hand for a minute and looked up at Chris, who had just walked in.

"Boss, everything okay?"

Tony looked disoriented before reality hit him." Chris, run a trace on the number that just called my phone." Chris nodded and walked to his desk. A few second later Chris came up with an address.

"Boss, the number's registered in Washington," Chris said and tony went for his desk. "Who was it?"

"It was an old friend. I'll be back later, let the director know," Tony said as he sprinted for the door.

* * *

Ziva didn't say a word after she hung up the phone; she saw the questioning looks Kristen was giving her. "I told you, he does not want to talk to me." It was now four in the morning.

Kristen wanted to reassure her friend, but she knew there were no words for what Ziva was going through. Ziva walked to the back of the store and grabbed a box of books. "I promise everything is okay, I am going to file these books and I will go home."

Kristen nodded and turned towards the door. "Hey, Ziva you know if you need to talk to someone, you always have me."

Ziva nodded and went back to packing the books, not wanting to speak with her friend. Even though it was an absurd thought, she was mad at Kristen. Suddenly, the doorbell chimed and Ziva's Mossad-sense was tingling.

She reached for the gun she had under the counter, but before she had a chance the figure appeared in the door way.

Anthony DiNozzo Jr.

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**Do you like cliff hanger. Because I sure do!:) **

**Don't forget to review!:)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it has been a while since I updated but here you go with the next chapter. I just want to say this first, thank you for the reviews and everything else! You guys have no clue how much it helps. You all are a big part of the reason why I updade, without you there would be no story. So after that is said lets get to the reunion part of this story! This chapter is one of my favorites, it answers alot of questions, but I think it leaves some questions unanswered, it also puts new questions into play.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

* * *

Ziva's eyes met Tony's for a brief second before she looked away. Things were happening too fast. She didn't want to see him. Okay, scratch that, she wanted to see him, but she couldn't now. Not when things were so complicated. She still had her head down when he started to talk.

"This was stupid," he said and turned on his heel, heading for the door. Ziva stood there in shock for a few seconds before things started to run through her head. Tony was okay, he was in D.C. He just walked in the door. He tracked her down. He just walked out.

Ziva's head snapped up and she started towards the door quickly. She stepped out into the light drizzle to see him walking towards a cab.

"Tony!" she yelled and he didn't look back. She started to pick up her pace and yelled his name again. "Tony! Stop!"

This time, Tony heard and turned around, running right into her. His arms went out instantly to catch her from falling. Realization hit him as he held her in his arms. The person he had been wanting to see, hell wanting to know was alive, was in his arms right now. His face was inching closer to hers and he could feel her warm breath against his cheek. _Is this a dream?_ he thought to himself. He snapped himself out of his head space, and lifted her up on her feet. They stood there for a second in awkward silence.

Ziva looked at him with _that look,_ the one that told him she had something on her mind. She gave him a smile. "Why are you here?" she asked, not able to say all she wanted to.

Tony let out a angry and exasperated chuckle and replied, "I'm not the one dropped off the face of the planet. And, if I do recall correctly, you were the one that called me." The tone of his voice sent chills down her spine. He was angry and far from polite. She had experience a similar attitude from someone else and in the end it hadn't ended well. She flinched and Tony removed his hands from her shoulder, thinking he was the cause of her reaction.

Ziva shook her head, "I am not discussing this with you right now!"

Tony's face grew red with anger again, as the rain started to pick up. "Do you not think I deserve an answer?" he asked.

"Do you know how many people have used that line on me in the past week! I do not care if you deserve an answer or not. It is not what you want, it is what you_ need." _Just then a loud crack of thunder sounded in the background. "I have to lock up and get home before the storm hits. My friend is not going to be home tonight, so if you want you can come over and maybe we can talk…" she whispered, afraid of his anger and the oncoming answer.

Tony nodded his head and followed Ziva as she walked in the book store and grabbed her purse. She turned off the lights and stepped back into the know pouring rain. Ziva started to walk and Tony looked puzzled.

Ziva realized his silent question and said, "I only live a few seconds away, Tony," she said and let out a nervous laugh. Tony nodded and followed close behind her.

* * *

A group of five men, dressed in black, looked through binoculars. The tallest one turned to the boss and spoke in Russian, "_We might have a problem_."

The boss stood up and made his way to the window. He took the binoculars from the man. A few seconds later he cursed under his breath.

"_Sir, we should we give them the go ahead?"_

The man shook his head. _"No, tell them to leave the target alone…we will see what happens. We have orders to take out both, so if we let the relationship progress, then we will get our chance. Tell them to proceed with secondary target,"_ he said and took another puff of his cigar.

The man nodded and said, "_Yes sir, I will tell them right away."_ He turned to his cell phone and dialed the number a second later he said, _"Go."_

* * *

Tony stood in the kitchen of Ziva's apartment. The apartment was two floors, the bottom floor was where the kitchen and the living area was. There were two rooms down the hall, but he didn't know what type of rooms was there. He guessed the bedrooms were up stairs because that was the direction Ziva went. With every second of being back in D.C, being with Ziva again he felt himself being sucked back in. But he constantly reminded himself that he was leaving the next day.

"I can fix you something, if you want," Ziva offered and Tony didn't know how long she had been standing there. Tony nodded and they stood in awkward silence for a few minutes, something that scared Tony. It uses to be so easy, so carefree when he was around her. But her leaving changed that. "Tony, please say something," she pleaded with him.

Tony snapped his head up and looked at her. "What do you want me to say? I have no good words for you!"

Ziva nodded. "I do not care, yell or something! But just do not stand there and not speak tell me. What you are thinking."

"No, you don't want to know what I am thinking."

"Yes, I do."

Tony nodded, agreeing. He had to get it out. "How could you do this? How could you just walk away?" he exploded, pent up anger taking him over.

Ziva looked at the floor. "I did not have a choice, you do not know how much I wanted to stay, how much I wanted to say to you; you were my partner Tony. I wanted to tell you. To ask for your help, but I could not."

"You know you could trust me, I had your back. Tell me, talk to me, Zee," His voice was soft and caring, he saw the way when her eyes met his they had a little spark back in them. But soon that spark went out and he could see in her eyes she was fighting with herself. Trying to decide what she had to say.

She gave him a slight, apologizing smile. "I cannot." There she went again, putting up those walls.

Tony nodded, in the past she wouldn't talk if he pushed. He knew she'd changed, but she, of all people, would never change that drastically. "How about we make something to eat? Do you normally get back at four in the morning?" he asked, looking at the clock and realizing how late, or early, it was. "We can make pancakes," he offered.

"Hopefully we have the things to make the food." Ziva smiled as she walked into the kitchen.

"Oh and by the way I like your pajamas," he said and her face turned red as he looked at _his sweats and the t-shirt he bought her_.

He could have sworn she said something like, "Well, I had to have something to remind me of you." But he could have been wrong.

After they ate, they sat silently on the couch for a few more minutes. Tony spoke, breaking the silence. "I need to know what happened. Honestly, I haven't forgiven you for what happened, let alone trust you. I mean, what happens if you decide to run off again? I can't take that chance. I want to know, I want to protect you, and I don't want you to feel like you're alone in this world," he said, staring into her dark brown eyes.

Ziva pulled her legs up on the couch and turned so her back was up against the arm rest. Her hair was now up in a pony tail. "Do you want to watch a movie? I know it's late, but I am not that tired."

Tony nodded and gave Ziva his famous DiNozzo smile. "Yeah, I don't have a place to stay; this trip was kinda short-notice."

"Well, I will ask Kristen, but we have an extra bedroom, you are more than welcome to take it." Ziva stood and went to put on a movie, Hostage; one of Tony's favorites. She turned off the light and grabbed two blankets. She was next to the couch, when suddenly Tony wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her down next to him. He took the blanket and put it over both of them before he pulled her close to him. He could feel her body stiffen and he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "Relax, I haven't seen you in four years, Zee."

Her body relaxed and she turned to him and said, "When did you start calling me that?"

"What?"

"Zee, you never called me that before."

Tony just furrowed his eyes brows. "Do you not like it? Because I'll stop if you don't."

"No, I kinda like it," she admitted in an almost silent voice.

"Okay then, Zee." He gave her a smile, a few minutes of silence went by and then the main screen of the movie came on. Tony hit play and all was silent.

Suddenly, Ziva turned to Tony and said, "My mom is still alive; my father stopped talking to me about four and a half years ago. I did not know what happened." Tony was shocked, Ziva never talked about her past, and on the very few occasions in which she did they were brief and _never _about her mother.

"I never really knew my mom, but I found out about a month before I…left, that she was alive and quite well. Her father, Artemi Petro, he was a drug dealer and a weapons dealer. He also ran a terrorist group. My mom, Galiya Petro, ran away when she was sixteen. She met my father and, long story short, I am now here. But about nine years ago, Artemi died, I had met him maybe once or twice, but it was always in Israel. Well, he was _believed _to be dead, but he resurfaced again, five years ago. I believe he is targeting me, and now you. I do not know why, but these people are dangerous," she said as her eyes glazed over with tears.

Tony nodded and took her hand in his and gave it a slight squeeze. "Is that why you left?" he asked.

Ziva nodded, she was sick of all the lies. "Tony, please understand there will always be more to the story that I cannot tell, that I will not tell. My past is bad, things I have done would disgust you…" he cut her off.

"Don't _ever_ think like that, I will always be there for you, you got that? You'll have to kill me in order for me to leave your side." He kissed her forehead and turned his attention back to the movie, not aware of the fact they had new company.

Just then a shot was fired. And a body hit the floor with a thud.

* * *

**Good and bad news, I am off of school for the whole week which means I can update, bad news is I am gonna be busy for the most part of it so I will try to update. I hope that chapter was to everyones liking. I hope it didn't answer to many question but also gave you some answers. Because we all know if I was to answer all questions then the story will be over. And the story is just getting started.**

**Don't forget to review, it will make me want to update as soon as I can. So those of you who haven't please do! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for the reviews! Happy Thanksgiving. So this chapter is kinda crappy but it is necessary. Please review and if you do I will try and have the next chapter up in the next two days.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing**

* * *

He wouldn't let go of her, and if Ziva admitted it to herself, she didn't want him to. After their talk, a gunshot when off, and to their surprise the saw Kristen on the ground, she had been shot in the chest. She was in surgery now. Tony wrapped one arm around Ziva's shoulders and pulled her closer to him.

After an hour or two of dead silence Ziva spoke. "What do I do? Do I call Gibbs? Do I demand the doctors tell me how she is doing? Tony, I cannot lose another sister," she said it so helplessly and then she leaned her head against his shoulder and started to sob. Tony rubbed her back gently and kept on stroking her hair, not knowing any other way to get her through it. "It is my fault. It's all my fault. I should have known they would know where I was."

Tony rested his chin on the top of her head before he spoke. "Listen to me, you had no idea. She is going to wake up and then everything will be okay. But right now, you need sleep and you need to call Gibbs." Ziva nodded and pulled her head away and stood then went to a corner to make the call.

A few minutes later, she arrived back and resumed the same position she was in earlier, except this time she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Suddenly, someone was shaking her and this caused her to jump up.

"Whoa, I am glad you don't have your gun! That would have been bad," Tony said, holding his hands up as to indicate him surrendering. Ziva smirked and stood on her tip toes so she was at his ear.

"I have my knife." Her words sent chills down Tony's back. "Now, why did you wake me?"

"Just to tell you Gibbs will be here…well now," Tony said, glancing out of the window. Ziva went to stand up, but Tony stopped her. "No, I got this, Zi. Just wait for the doctor." He stepped out of the room.

He took slow steps, dreading having to talk to his former boss. Tony saw the look Gibbs was giving him and soon he felt the familiar slap to the back of his head. In spite of himself, he chuckled. "Missed you too, Boss."

Gibbs nodded his head before speaking. "Before I ask why or how you got back, I want to know why we're standing here, DiNozzo. And it'd better be a good reason."

"Well, I was at Ziva's place and there was a gun shot. Boss, it hit Kristen. She's been in surgery for the better part of four hours. It went through her chest. Zi's taking it hard."

Gibbs decided dismisses the nickname and he walked into the waiting room just as the doctor walked in.

"Family for Kristen Garland," the doctor asked and all three stood up. "I am Dr. Strauss," he looked back and forth skeptically before speaking. "The bullet went in her lungs, which is why she was coughing up blood. She's in ICU, and I don't like to sugar coat things, so to be completely honest, the probability of her surviving are not in her favor. She slipped into a coma, the chances of her waking up from that is not likely." He gave them a sad smile before he added, "But I am not saying give up hope, a shot like that would have killed most, and yet she hung on, which goes to say, she's a fighter."

Ziva nodded and spoke, "Can we see her?"

Dr. Strauss nodded, "Room 118." Once he was gone, Ziva felt Tony take her hand and weave his fingers with hers. She looked at him and smiled before she went down the hall, dragging Tony with her.

When they got to the room, Ziva had a sharp intake of breath and Tony squeezed her hand in a reassuring manner. Kristen lay in the bed as if she was asleep. The only sound was the low beep on the heart monitor. Kristen had tubes attached to almost every part of her body. Ziva let go of Tony's hand and made her way to her bed side.

Tony didn't want to intrude so he quickly turned and stepped out, running into Gibbs. "Oh, hey," he said.

Gibbs didn't respond. Instead, he pulled the hospital door closed and looked at Tony. "Do you know what in the hell is going on?"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose in thought before he looked back at Gibbs. "Boss, if I tell you, then it's betraying my trust with Ziva, so with all due respect, I'll tell you some, but it is her choice to fill in the blanks."

He waited to get a nod from Gibbs before he continued. "I know people are after her. Russians, it has something to do with her family, her mom, to be exact. She said something about a family business. But that's all I can say right now, Boss."

"You think you're protecting her, because someone is after her?" Gibbs said, trying to keep his voice down.

"Do you not think I know that? Do you know where my thoughts went the _second_ I heard that gun shot? I looked at her, I was scared, not for my life, but for hers. I know I should tell you everything, but I just can't. I'm not going to do that to her. I found these in her mail box." Tony held out pictures and Gibbs took them. There was some of Abby and McGee, there was Ducky and himself. But the ones that were the most uneasy were the ones of Tony and Ziva. Who ever had taken these had been in Ziva's apartment. They were recent pictures, ones from that day and the one of Tony and Ziva was the one that was taken during their movie.

"Why didn't you tell me about these before?" Gibbs asked Tony.

Tony looked down at the ground before answering, "I didn't want to scare her, and she has enough to deal with."

Gibbs nodded in understanding before he spoke. "I need you and Ziva to meet me at NCIS in less than an hour, I am going to get Abby and McGee and we will meet there. If you are not there in an hour, there will be consequences." Gibbs turned on his heel to leave bit turned back, "Oh, and DiNozzo, you watch your back, and especially hers."

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**Hopefully you liked it, sorry it was crappy, the next one will be more…eventful**

**Don't forget to review :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for all of you who reviewed. But the amount of reviews I had been getting are down. I do not write for fame, but hearing what you have to say encourages me to write more and it lets me know people are reading and liking the things I write, so please take the time to review. I want to thank purplemonkeyz48 for writing the majority of the flashback! This is an extra long chapter so I hope everyone enjoys it.**

**Disclaimer: I own all the seasons and that is as close as I will get to ever owning NCIS**

* * *

_DING!_

The elevator came to a stop and Tony and Ziva stepped off.

"Toooonnnnyyyy! I'm so glad your back! When Gibbs said you were coming back, I didn't believe him. But now you're here and I am so excited!" Abby threw her arms around Tony's neck and pulled him into a bear hug. Tony let out a forced laughed and hugged Abby back just as tightly.

Abby let go and turned to Ziva. "I'm so sorry! I would have come to the hospital, but I didn't know anything until Gibbs came and got me and Tim," Abby said cheerfully and Tony smirked.

"Hm, so you and the Timster, huh? That's new," Abby punched Tony in the shoulder before she started laughing. "Abby, you're just confirming my suspicions." He gave her his famous DiNozzo grin and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ziva take a breath and look away. Just then, Tony winced as Gibbs' hand connected with the back of his head. The second one in as many days.

"I did not call you in so you could goof off, DiNozzo. It seems we have a serious problem." Gibbs cold eyes landed on Ziva. "Ziva, I need you to think hard about who would go and target people you are close to."

She let out a frustrated sigh as she started, "I know who it is and I already explained this once!" She threw her hands up in a frustrated sigh.

Gibbs put a reassuring hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "We're going to protect you no matter what. We need you to tell us what's going on so we can help."

Ziva nodded and spoke, "I do not know all the details, and that is the truth, but what I told you about this being bigger that Mossad and my father was true. I never knew my mom, or more like I never knew what happened to her. I remember some things, like how she and my father fought a lot when I was little. But when I was about eight, she just left and I never knew where she went. But about a month before I left, I found out she was alive and well. Her father, Artemi Petro, he was a drug dealer and a weapons dealer. He also ran a terrorist group. My mom, Galiya Petro, ran away when she was sixteen. That is when she met my father." Ziva paused and looked up to meet Tony's intense gaze, she gave him a smile, knowing he had heard this all before, and then she went back to speaking, not oblivious to the fact Tony was staring at her. "But about nine years ago, Artemi died, I had met him maybe once or twice, but it was always in Israel. Well, he was _believed _to be dead, but he resurfaced again, five years ago. I believe he is targeting me, as well as the rest of you."

Gibbs nodded as if relatives rising from the dead was a daily occurrence and the rest were speechless. "What about your mom?" he asked.

"She tried to make contact a few times before, but I only answered once," Ziva answered and Gibbs could sense there was more.

"Abby, you and McGee try to track down…" Gibbs realized he didn't have a name and looked to Ziva.

"Artemi Petro would be my grandfather and Galiya Petro would be my mom. But I am not sure if they still go by the same names," Gibbs started, walking to the elevator.

"Abby, you get on that. DiNozzo and David, with me," he yelled and Ziva started walking behind him. Tony jogged quickly up to Ziva's side.

"We didn't do anything," Tony said the second Gibbs flipped the emergency switch.

Gibbs looked at him and smirked, "You seem a bit jumpy. Something one your mind you want to confess?" Tony looked frantically between Ziva and Gibbs and Ziva rolled her eyes.

"What is it, Gibbs?" Ziva asked, trying to get to the point.

Gibbs sighed and turned his attention to Ziva. "Your father's calling you back home." Ziva's face went white and before she hit the ground, Tony put his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. To his surprise, Ziva didn't pull away instead she leaned more into the embrace. "I understand you were trying to pass the American Citizenship test.," Gibbs said and Ziva nodded, still staring into space. "He called Vance last night and demanded you return home. Now we both know there's one way to end this."

"Yes, I die and it will be over," she mumbled nonchalantly and Tony looked at her with fury in his eyes.

"Don't you dare say that!" he said in a forceful voice that shocked even Gibbs.

Ziva looked up at him. "Well it is true, that is the _only way_ to ensure your safety and to ensure that nothing happens to anyone else."

Before the fight could get out of hand, Gibbs broke it up. "Ziva, there was something you didn't mention back there and I want to know what it was."

"Well, I figured what if I went to Russia to find my grandfather or my mom? It might not be the safest idea, but it is the most logical," she said, trying to explain her reason, but she could sense Tony shaking his head and she pulled away.

"I'm not sending you to Russia to track down your mom or your grandfather without having someone at your side."

"Okay, well then I will take McGee," she said and she then saw the look of betrayal on Tony's face.

"No, you'll take DiNozzo, I'll book the flights; but there's one more problem. You cannot travel unless you are traveling back to Israel," he said and the elevator got quiet.

Surprisingly, Tony was the one to speak first. "I have an idea, but I need to speak with Ziva about it first."

Gibbs didn't seem too happy with the idea, but he flipped the switch and the elevator came to life. Once Gibbs was out of the elevator, Ziva spoke.

"What's your idea?" she asked him.

Tony looked nervous and he started to pace in the tiny elevator. "Okay, before I tell you, just hear me out." He could see she was about to interrupt, so he put a figure to her lips. "When you left, you took a part of me with you. And at first, I couldn't figure out why. I kept your necklace with me no matter where I went and I always had your picture with me in my wallet. And I read your letter at least five times a day. I still don't understand it. But last night, when that gunshot went off, I was worried I lost you again. I thought I lost my chance to tell you. You see, Zi, I love you, and I can't understand why and I don't want to because I'm happy when I'm around you. Last night, I loved being there for you, I loved the fact that you trusted me." He took another step closer to her.

"Tony…" she said and looked into his eyes, she was going to say more, but he interrupted her.

"I know what you're going to say. I know you don't have feelings for me, but I had to tell you," he argued and turned his back to her.

"Do you remember the letter I left you? Well, of course you do, because you said you read it like five times a day, but do you remember what it _said_?" she asked and he turned back to her and looked into her eyes as they both remembered the words.

"Yeah, I remember everything that happened during the weeks before you left," he said, but he could tell by the way she was smiling, and the way she was looking at him, that he was missing a piece of vital information.

**FLASHBACK**

"Tony, this was not your fault," Ziva said as she took his hand in hers and pulled him away from the Smith's funeral. The case had been a hard one and, in the end, the two parents died leaving two children orphans.

"I made the call!" he said and climbed into the car.

"But you did not know what would happen and you saved the two kids." When Ziva realized she wasn't getting anywhere with him, she looked at him and spoke again. "Please, do not do this. I can't stand to see my partner go through this." Those were the last words they spoke in the car before they arrived back at NCIS.

Later that week, Tony was called into Vance's office and when he returned, Ziva was nowhere to be seen; he thought nothing of it until that Friday night when she arrived at his door step and he could have sworn she had tear marks on her cheeks. When he asked her why, she brushed it off and started talking about the movie they were going to watch.

"So, what did Vance talk to you about?" Ziva asked as she took a sip of her tea.

"Nothing," he said and went back to cooking dinner, but Ziva wasn't going to let it go that easy, there was something in his eyes and Ziva could tell that whatever it was that was bugging him had to be big.

"No, please tell me," she gave him a smile and he caved, just like he always did for her.

"Vance offered me a job, as the team leader in Paris," he said turning his attention yet again to the food.

She felt hurt and betrayed despite herself, but she quickly masked those feelings and said, "And maybe it would be better if you took the job."

That angered Tony and he started to yell again. "You think I screwed up, too! Don't you!"

"That is not what I said. There is something I need to tell you," she said.

"Okay," he was nervous now, she never used that certain tone with him unless it was _really_ important.

"I am going home, and not back to my apartment. I am going back to Israel," she said simply as if the decision was already made.

"No, this isn't going to happen. I will _not_ let this happen again. Your dad can't make you go back."

What Ziva did next was something she knew she would regret later, but she knew it was the only way to get him to let go, "Did you ever stop to think that maybe I wanted to go back? That maybe I don't want to stay anymore? Maybe I don't want to stick around and see you or Abby or Gibbs. Did you ever think of that?" she threw that in his face.

It only took him a moment to rebound off what she said. "You're no different than then the person who showed up at NCIS ten years ago! You're the same cold, heartless assassin." He regretted what he said the second he felt her slap him across the face. He didn't know what to say next. He didn't want to lose her; the thought of losing her was heartbreaking. But the worst part was he knew he couldn't stop it. He reached to her and pulled her into a hug. After she got through struggling, he could feel her tears soaking his shirt. Misunderstanding her reasons for cringe he spoke, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. Please, stay."

She didn't say anything. She just pulled him as close to her chest as she could before she kissed his cheek and pulled away. He heard his door slam and stood frozen in the kitchen. That night, as he lay in his bed something, struck him and he bolted up.

He should have seen the way she was lying to him last night. There was more to it then her just getting homesick. He looked at the clock. Great, two in the morning. He jumped out of the bed and pulled on a t-shirt and sweats. He grabbed his phone.

He stood at the door to her apartment and knocked, after ten minutes, he pulled out his cell phone and left her a message.

He took the key out of his pocket with his trembling hand, dreading what was inside. He jiggled the key into the lock and the door swung open.

"Ziva?" he made his way through the apartment, hoping the love of his life was still there. He reached her bedroom, the door was slightly ajar, and a dim light shown through the crack. He knocked once, twice, then three times before he entered. He approached her nightstand, where a letter sat. On the front, a lone letter was written: _T_.

Tony hesitated momentarily before reaching down and picking it up. As he picked the letter up off the nightstand, something fell out and hit the floor; a gold Star of David necklace. He picked it up and fingered it while he read the letter.

_My dearest T-_

_Do not come looking for me, no matter how much you would like to. I have left for the well-being of everyone I love- Gibbs, Abby, McGee, and Ducky- you. I have one wish: take the job in Paris. You deserve it; you always have. The only reason you stayed behind- me. Now, that I am gone, you need to move on. This letter and necklace are your little reminders of me. Keep them always. Hold the memories close to your heart. _

_I will always love you._

_-Z_

As he finished the letter, he slumped down against the wall, in a state of shock. "She really left . . . she's gone. She's really gone."

**End of Flashback**

Tony's lips came crashing down on hers and he gently pushed Ziva against the elevator wall. The kiss was full of unreleased tension and passion. Ziva pushed Tony off of her, Tony's face fell thinking she didn't want him to kiss her.

"I'm sorry, your letter said..." he was interrupted by her speaking.

"Tony, yes my letter said I loved you. I still do love you, but right now things are too dangerous," she said.

"Answer this question, do you love me?" he asked and she nodded, he smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "And, you see, you're in luck because I love you, too. So, forget about the danger, I'm going to protect you," he said and she nodded.

"Now, what was your idea?" she asked, getting back on the subject they'd dropped minutes ago.

"Well, just remember when I say this, I'm not trying to push things, but this way ensures you stay in America and you can still travel," he said.

"Okay, Tony, choke it out," she said and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Um, first it's 'spit it out' and second, we could get married," he said and gave her a smile even though her eyes were wide and her jaw about hit the ground.

* * *

**So hopefully that chapter was up to everyone's standards. Hope you enjoyed it!**

**Don't forget to review :)**


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